The Tragedy of Taco Bell’s Best Offerings


A friend recently emailed me and noted that I hadn’t continued writing on my blog. Despite a lack of recent trips to Taco Bell for inspiration, this was enough of a kick in the ass to encourage me to write something. Now as I sit here staring out the window, I’m wondering if I should brave the two days before Christmas mall insanity for a quesarito on the off chance it will spark some creativity and inspire me to write something entertaining. The more I make points like this the more strange it sounds. Maybe I could write a novel about an aspiring writer who can only overcome writer’s block through repeated trips to Taco Bell. Torn between his personal health and his need to pursue his dreams, every day is a constant struggle…

I haven’t been to Taco Bell in months. On the surface, this probably isn’t a bad thing, because despite recent news that Taco Bell has slowly created a menu with some of the healthiest options of any fast food options of any fast food chain, the likelihood of me ordering any of those healthy options is slim to none. Digging deeper, I haven’t written anything on my blog in months. Whenever I dwell on the point about not writing anything recently, I often come to this idea that my lack of visits to Taco Bell must be responsible. I supposed it’s also possible that I just haven’t had anything interesting to say (or write) that doesn’t come in the form of a political or public-transit related rant. More realistically though, I think it’s just that whenever I have ideas pop into my head or moments of inspiration I’d like to write down, I’m never where I want to be, or where I think I should be.

Part of the above paragraph is a lie. I’m pretty sure I had some Taco Bell this month. I just didn’t write anything after the fact. I actually wrote the above paragraph a few months ago and alas, that same day I made a trip to the Taco Bell. My intent was initially just to pick up a couple of tacos but upon arrival at the Bell, I was faced with a poster for their newest glorious creation, the BEEFY POTATO-RITO. Though I haven’t touched on the reasoning for the potato portion of my blog’s title (yet), I’ll just say that simply due to the name, there’s no way I wasn’t ordering one of these bad boys. Seasoned beef, cheese, potatoes, chipotle (interesting note – WordPress thinks chipotle should be corrected to chipolata)  sauce, and nacho cheese sauce? Oh yes. Someday, I’ll need to expand my vocabulary and writing skills to accurately describe the way things taste but for now, I’ll just say it was an extreme explosion of delicious cheesy potato-y flavorness.

Months after the beefy potato-rito came into my life, I’m sad to report that the last trip I made to the Bell, I didn’t see it anywhere on the menu. Why must the most unhealthy, uniquely and disgustingly delicious items on Taco Bell’s menu only exist temporarily? This is a tragedy!

Categories: Tacos, UncategorizedTags: , , , , , ,

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